I think im going to throw up on grandma
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
