Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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