all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
