I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
