Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
