what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think my moral compass just broke
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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