kristin has been a bad kristin
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
