so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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