I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i would punch a child for taco bell
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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