There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
