OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
