ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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