ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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