Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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