I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Welp...herpes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
