Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
