Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
