Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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