so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My ass is underappreciated
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
