Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
