but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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