mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
