oh god the rape fog is back!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
