She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
