I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
