just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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