So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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