No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
