I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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