Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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