my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
