is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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