Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
