I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I supernannyed him into submission
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
