well I can't set my house on fire every night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
