So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
