i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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