hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
