he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
