Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
