Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
