I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
