It's like God shit irony all over that family
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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