Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
