Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
