need another drink. this is the easiest way
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
