arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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