My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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