I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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