You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
