hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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