Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
